I laugh so I won't cry:
I quit trying to hold my stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
I sing along with elevator music. (always have-is that wrong?)
My eyes won't get much worse. (I hope not, it's tough finding those cute readers in higher and higher strength.)
Having health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. (Especially dental-since I broke a tooth yesterday.)
My joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service. (I creak!)
My secrets are safe with friends because they can't remember them either!
Kidnappers are not very interested in me. (It would take a while for Bill to notice I was missing too!)
In a hostage situation I'm likely to be released first. (Mostly because of the nagging.)
No one expects me to run anywhere.
People call at 9:00 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?" (And they did )
There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
Things I buy now won't wear out.
Eating dinner at 4:00 PM isn't as big a deal now, especially since I go to bed at 9:00 PM.
I can (almost) live without sex but not my glasses.
I no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
My supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
I put these in big print for your convenience!
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